I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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