I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize