Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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