Someone shit on the floor
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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