i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you had me at cake vodka
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
BRING THE BAGELS
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
