I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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