you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i barfeds in our rink
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
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