oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
