Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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