"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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