Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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