i always forget guys have bellybuttons
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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