It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
