I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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