I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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