Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
