Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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