Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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