1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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