His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
