i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
