I want to stick my p in your. b.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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