I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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