The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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