she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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