My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
