so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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