Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
