Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
