I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You pole danced in your parka.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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