My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
