had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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