I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
