I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
