The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
