Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
