just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well I just put wine in my tea
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
