At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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