I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
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I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
as a side note pls kill me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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