my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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