So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
oh god the rape fog is back!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
