You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
