Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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