I need help removing her.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
