Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
