I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I need water and some morals
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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