even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
