I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
