Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
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This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
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Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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