just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
