either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Quick, to the slutcave!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
