I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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