You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
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thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
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So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b