I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.