Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...