You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
