i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.