I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
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i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
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Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...