ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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