im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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