Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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