i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
